Would you like to come back to my place, bouncy, bouncy?

In this wonderful, wacky world, connecting is more important than ever, and so willkommen, bienvenu, welcome to GayBabel.net, which we hope will become a go-to site for all you traveling types looking to make connections away from home that are a lot more meaningful—and certainly loads o’ fun—than mumbling “buenos días” to the cabbie or hotel doorman. We’ll get you covered (er, uncovered?) wherever you choose to wander, for the best spots around the world to meet, mingle—and more.

Our site revolves around our new phrasebooks, which finally give you all the “juicy stuff” you always wish they’d taught you in high school Spanish: the vocabulary to navigate love, sex, and dating. From “what’s your sign” to “I never want to see you again!” With, of course, a long, steamy detour through the bedroom (or wherever it is you people do it). Plus, getting with the online-cruising program, we’ve even got a section to help you figure out what your online Italian stallion means by “ci6” (“you there?”) or that hot twink from Trier by “zumiozudi?” (“your place or mine?”). So far, we’ve got editions covering combinations in English, Spanish, French, German, and Italian. Next on deck: a lesbian seven-language version—c’mon, ladies, step right up!—Portuguese, Chinese, and more. And BTW, tell your straight friends we’re working on the same thing for them, set to launch in November on www.HotBabel.net.

And in case you’re wondering what my silly little opening line is supposed to mean, it’s a line from a classic 1970’s bit from that famous bunch of silly Brits, Monty Python. In the “Hungarian Phrasebook Sketch,” a muddled Magyar wanders into a British tobacco shop and uses his “booby-trapped” phrasebook to unwittingly unleash a string of silly and/or suggestive verbiage that eventually get him hauled off by an indignant copper.

This sketch came to mind because the idea of these books came while I was perusing, yes, a Hungarian phrasebook, several years ago on a train from Prague to Budapest. All the basics were there, sure, but as I glanced over the “social” section (“Would you like to dance?” “Do you play cards?”), I thought, “jeez, how lame is this?” Wouldn’t it be cool to have a phrasebook that took “social” to the next level, and let people in on the really good stuff for a change?

Et voilà. I’ve always had a thing for languages, and a passion to explore beyond the borders of the U.S. Heck, at college I majored in international relations—I just never realized I’d eventually be working a slightly different side of the field than I originally expected (oh, if those Jesuits could see me now). In the course of my globetrotting, meeting people has always helped give my travels that extra dimension and zing you never get if you just stick to the tourist attractions and after dinner head back to your hotel room to stare at CNN all night. And of course pretty much all of us like sex, right? <GR>

Then a funny thing happened (well, funny interesting, not so much funny ha-ha). Coming out with the phrasebooks in turn gave my partner and me the idea of starting a fun yet educational web site that would help give y’all more info on how and where to use them. Among other things, we’ll take a wide stance, exploring the dating scene and the latest in gay travel around the world, complete with the hottest hotel, restaurant, and nightspot picks (coming up soon: Munich, Costa Rica, Rome, Montreal). We’ll also answer whatever travel questions you might have; provide some blog real estate for you to share with us your own adventures and misadventures; comment on current books, movies, and news items; and serve up some fun info and trivia to amuse and titillate friends and dates (did you know that the words for “tail” in French and German are also slang for penis, while Cubans call papaya fruta bomba because to them, papaya means “vagina”? (one look at the sliced papaya on the right and you’ll see why.) We’re starting out in English, but will be expanding to a Spanish-language version soon, followed by French, German, Italian, and others.

Our aim here is to be fun and horizon-broadening—to promote “international relations” that in this globalized world can often get far more done than the B.S. bloviations of governments when it comes to understanding foreign cultures and helping foreigners understand yours. Think of us as following in the august footsteps of pioneers like painter Paul Gauguin, who besides savoring some swell Tahitian treats helped open Europeans’ eyes to the South Pacific—rather than, say, Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo.

It’s gonna to be a fun ride, so tell your friends, and pop in once a week or so and see what’s new and sound off on our blogs and whatever the heck you feel like sounding off on. Send comments, questions—it’s all good. I can’t wait—in fact, in the words of that confused and immortal Hungarian, “my nipples explode with delight!”

With love, amor, amour, amore, Liebe, láska…

–Dave

Courtesy of “Charlie R.” of St. Cloud, MN:

How about some “cloak-and-dagger” sex in the Arab world? OK, minus the dagger. I was with a tour group in the old medina of Meknes, which is one of the “Imperial Cities” of Morocco. As we’re walking in the big main gate, I notice this really cute guy following alongside us, maybe ten feet away—and giving me what I can only describe as exaggerated cartoon winks, the kind where you scrunch up the whole side of your face. (more…)